All humans are scum, but some are more scum than others

Yesterday, a particularly tragic incident set up a major conversation on abuse and domestic violence on Twitter.

A South African lady who had been declared missing for nearly a week was just discovered to have been murdered by her boyfriend.

Consequently, a lot of stories started coming out from women who have been abused by people they trusted, or people who had lost family members murdered by people they trusted.

The situation all round is sad and disheartening. If you can’t be safe in your own home with your own family and friends, then where can you be safe?

More importantly, women are always or most times the victims of things like this and it is not slowing down or going away soon. This guy puts it perfectly:

So what happens when you’re single, female and probably live alone? I write a listicle about it here, but that is not nearly close to the reality.

The reality is, you’re always afraid. Walking home at night is frightening. Inviting people into your home is frightening. When people around you know you are a woman and you are living alone, and you don’t even have a boyfriend, or fiance or even just a male visitor that comes around frequently, you become a target.

Nearly a year ago, I was robbed…twice. The guy knew all about me. Knew I was alone. Knew everything about my home because he had been watching me. My neighbours are guys and he didn’t bother to disturb them.

He walked through my front door the first time, cut my window the second time and basically just settled down to do whatever he wanted because he knew that I was female and I lived alone and there was no threat.

So when women come out to say that it’s a hard life for women out there on any given day, and we deserve the respect and protection of every male close to us, it is not a joke. It is not “shouting”. It is not making a mountain out of a mole hill. And it is certainly not fodder for you to use and turn it back on women by saying, “but there are women who abuse men, nobody talks about them.”

Nobody talks about them because nobody brings them up until women talk about their own injustice. It’s like you didn’t know there was anything wrong until we started to speak up.

What happened to your own mouths? Where was your own outrage before we began to voice our own? Why must it be a competition?

All humans are scum. There are good people and bad people. But when we choose to point out the very many incidences of male scum in the world, do not scream blue murder and ask for a balanced outcry.

We are not crying out for the same thing. Similar, but not same. We are crying out to be heard, seen and protected.

And for all you men that feel like the shouting is too much, ask yourself, “Why is it hurting me? Could it be because I am secretly a beater too?”

If you’ve ever thought that a woman was “too rude” and “needed discipline”, you most likely are, and you better check yourself. Don’t get married until you are sure that the demon dancing on your head is gone, because if it isn’t and you make a wrong move with your fists, we’re coming for you.

And like the scum that you are, we will drag you all over the face of the earth, and not only on Twitter.

 

 

Thank you and good day.

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